LISTEN UP FUCKERS!

URGENT: East Coast / Northeast / Midwest US
All the forecast models are falling into agreement that by Monday/Tuesday Sandy will swing back into the coast, likely somewhere between MA and NC. Affected areas will likely be anywhere from Maine down to the Carolinas, and as far west as Illinois. Northern areas are most likely to experience storm surges; southern areas be prepared for snow… lots of it. Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania in particular should be ready for a full day of heavy snowfall.

Best case scenario looks like is this storm will be another Irene.
Worst case, another 1991 “Perfect Storm.” NWS has already dubbed this the “Frankenstorm.”
Get your ass prepared now!

- Fill your car’s gas tank now; maybe get an extra can.
- Prepare for widespread and possibly extended power outages. Get heaters or generators ready.
- If you have any trees/limbs that are in danger of falling onto your house, you may wish to remove them now.
- Make arrangements for friends and relatives who cannot prepare for themselves.
- Put away all your patio furniture— Summer’s Over, Bitch!
- Get a motherfucking weather radio.
- Reassess any travel plans for Monday through to the end of the week. Stock up on booze instead.
- Sorry, Halloween’s off again this year. Stock up on booze instead.
- Take advantage of early voting. They’re not going to postpone the election.

Signal boost this wherever you can. Obvs don’t want people to panic as the models won’t reveal the final scenario until Sandy passes through Cuba and takes its final eastward shift before getting sucked into the Nor’easter dropping from Canada. But better to be prepared now before the inevitable run on supplies begins.